You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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