also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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