We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
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Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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