ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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