so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
