i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize