WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
