You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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