wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
