remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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