My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
