dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
