thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
