it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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