My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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