No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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