Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
