Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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