he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
