Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize