I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
