she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
MIDGETS
????
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
