paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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