So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
