Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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