I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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