please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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