Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm like, not good at living.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
