I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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