I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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