May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize