Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
