fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
