sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
