the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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