I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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