You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
