paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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