I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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