So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize