it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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