i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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