hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everclear isn't food dammit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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