Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
