I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
