You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
