Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
