wakey wakey hands off snakey
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
