i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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