No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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