love makes seman taste better
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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