honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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