we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
