wrigley field is MILF paradise
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
