i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
