I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
