Can Purell be used as lube?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
