Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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