You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize