fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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