Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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