I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
