I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
