Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
