I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
